En Conversation avec Moi – Humility

Me: Hey Ash, hows the ‘lecturing on humility’ going? Love your empty platitudes!

Ash: Sorry? Who are you boss, and why the hell are you interfering in my life? And by the way, what empty platitudes? I genuinely believe in humility and try to share it with people in my immediate circle of engagement and trust.

Me: Hmmm. Big words  again. Love it. Forget who I am, just consider me as the devil’s advocate. And I will fight your cases for free.

Ash: Very funny. Again, why is my belief in humility hypocritical according to you?

Me: How did you commute to office today?

Ash: By car!

Me: Haven’t you always taken the higher moral ground and rambled incessantly about how you travel by bike everyday, people driving alone to work adds to carbon emissions, blah blah blah.

Ash: (meekly) Yaa, but.. it was raining today, my back was aching and..

Me: Wow. Self vs Environment? and didn’t you just invest in a full rain suit? Forget that, you saw so many people standing at the bus stop did you offer them a lift? And yes, your favourite whipping boy – the air conditioner, why did you switch it on even if it was for 10 mins?

Ash: (mortified) I didn’t know them. and.. i switched on the ac because…

Me: Ok chill. idea is not to embarrass you. But remember, humility, or for that matter anything you preach must be practiced first. More importantly, a person’s true character is best revealed when alone. So friends?

Ash: (smiling) Yes, friends. Loved chatting with you. But ya, the example you gave doesn’t exactly qualify under “humility”.

Me: (sheepishly) Yup, i figured that too… 🙂

 

“creating news: a short, funny, fictitious story”

fictitious tale of how a “trend based” feature is published.

editor: guys, saw the phaneesh case. it’s big. need a story. talk about how sexual harassment is a growing trend.

journo: got it sir, i know pr guys who can turn this into a trend *winks*.

PR guy on phone wit journo: of course we can contribute. we have 1 client who will talk, 1 we will make them talk, 1 we will create.

journo: awesome. i will retrieve your last release that i had thrown in the bin. pr guy: awesome.

next day is papers “PHANEESH SACKED. SEXUAL HARASSMENT ON THE RISE IN INDIA. 3 COMPANIES OPEN UP TO THE MENACE”.

editor: well done guys. we have successful converted one off episode into a national trend capable of wiping out humanity, blah blahh !!!

so this was our short, phaneesh… ooops, phunny.. grrr, funny, fictitious story !!

aaj kuchh toofani news karte hain !!!

picture courtesy: http://fs02.androidpit.info/userfiles/1345085/image/exaggeration.png

Public Relations & the Almighty: A Divine, Uncanny Encounter

Circa: 2000, Xavier Institute of Communications. “Public Relations is an omnipresent and omnipotent tool of strategic communications. It can transform non-believers into staunch loyalists, build a lifelong bond of happiness with stakeholders, mobilize mass public opinion & galvanize stakeholder thinking”. Heavy words – but PR almost sounds divine here. Shouldn’t it be practised by the Gods in such a scenario. It’s a radical thought. Pertinent in an uncanny way as Public Relations professionals are always seeking divine intervention at all stages of their career. At a more micro level, the Almighty seems to play a more significant role in the daily lives of a PR pro given the “unpredictability” surrounding the profession (Though I maintain, that the lack of predictability is what makes PR more exciting than its mass media cousins).  Do these sound familiar to PR friends from the industry…

“God, I hope there is no negative coverage on my client today after that extra terrestrial newspaper’s scoop yesterday”.

“Sir, to repeat what I said 47 seconds back, I am hoping 20 journalists should come for your ‘first of its kind wash basin’ launch press conference”. *Oh dear God, plz plz plz… I have washed my hands off in that very basin, now it’s up to you to help me out.*

“ I want a vacation God, can you plz bring December before November with the powers vested in you by Rajinikanth saar”.

“Listen, I will be coming late to office tomorrow. Dropping by Balaji temple to pray for that opinion article to appear before Friday’s annual review”.

“Ohhhhh Gawwwwwd. Plz drill some sense in that lady. She called me at 2am last night, morning… whatever.. to blast the **** out of me for a ‘missing comma’ that she couldn’t spot as she wasn’t wearing lenses.”

As fictional as these situations may sound, the plot is truly fascinating.  Here’s a conversation* between a PR interviewer (PRadeep) and God, who applies for a job at a leading PR firm. Read on to know what transpired…

*divine conditions apply.

  

PRadeep: Hi, thanks for applying. May I have your CV plz?

*GOD humbly removes his Samsungg Inter-Galaxee 4045 from his pocket and flashes an interactive touch-screen Milky way app.*

GOD: I created this.  

PRadeep: What the… God­-zilla parishad bull#$%^. Whatever! So you good at technology I can see.

*GOD smiles.*

PRadeep: Writing is at the heart of what we do. Any samples you’ve brought along?

*GOD removes a set of Dictionaries in 6500 languages and places it on the table.*

GOD: My team created these.

PRadeep: What the …. You Tom, Dic-tionary and Harry of a …. OK, so you know your languages.

*GOD smiles.*

PRadeep: Let’s understand your media skills. What can you do for us differently?

GOD: How many newspapers in this country?

PRadeep: Approx 82,000 registered newspapers as of March 2011.

GOD: Wonderful. I can get you 82,000 front page stories on every client every day.

PRadeep: what the… you printing press-ure cooker of a media champ is it??? OK. So you have a connection with printers and publishers.

*GOD smiles.*

PRadeep: You know, Crisis cannot be escaped in our profession. Tell me, what if there were a major natural calamity and the client came in for sharp criticism from the media?

GOD: That’s simple. I just have to press “CTRL+Z” and the calamity can be undone / recreated at will. Recently, a good man from American sent his prayers via WhatsAppGod app and we created an inter-galactic hashtag (#Sandy). Like one of his previous American counterparts, we are confident this hashtag will help the goodman meet his objective.

PRadeep: What the… Oh! Balma on my interviewing wounds…. OK. So you can create, mitigate, prevent and preempt crises I see.

*GOD smiles.*

PRadeep: Last but not the least. We are living in the world of digital communications, where shaping conversations is the order of the day. Tell me how many followers do you have on Dwitter? (Divine micro blogging site).

GOD: 7 billion humans, few billions birds and animals and yes… few gazillion species from 9-10 other planets.

*PRadeep hands over the offer letter to GOD… but then faints.*

*GOD smiles.*

 

PR was thereafter referred to as the “PRofession of the GODS” ! And God said, “Let there be media coverage”… and there were cover stories everywhere!

 

P.S. Views expressed are strictly personal and not aimed at hurting/mocking any company, profession, individual, PR professional, political party or even God.

15 Questions to Aditya Chopra on “Jab Tak Hai Jaan”

 

Quick disclaimer, I am a massive Yash Chopra fan. His films and songs are deeply etched in the filmy / musical archives of my brain. I watched Jab Tak Hai Jaan (JTHJ) as a personal tribute to the great film maker. It was a quintessential Yash Chopra romance brimming with incredible coincidences, but it left me slightly bewildered about certain parts of the story. Hence 15 serious questions to the lead writer of the film – Aditya Chopra.

1.       Like seriously, as SRK has nearly 12x lives as that of a normal cat (108 bombs defused!) did you consider naming his character as “Amar” Anand? And really, how on earth did he land that dream job with no conditions, dress code or protocols of wearing a bomb disposal suit?

 2.       What’s with the Yash Raj / Dharma productions’ undying belief that every important conversation must take place on a public bench? Or is that SRK’s bench-mark of emotions?

 3.       Is it fair to use heavy medical words like “Retrograde Amnesia” to commit serious screenplay / script crimes? Remember, the audience will not forget the forced coincidences.

 4.       Is Katrina Kaif snow-proof? Why was she running towards the Church in the middle of a stormy London wearing a chiffon dress, especially when her Jaguar was just parked outside the Church?

 5.       What’s with Shahrukh Khan eavesdropping on his heroines’ confessions in a Church? He did something similar in DDLJ too… but will Jesus forgive him for too long?

 6.        Does Anushka Sharma get inducted into the “Indian Army” for the self-funded-bomb-disposal-immortal-Samar-Anand-Biography? Just checking coz her hot pants were really hot, especially when other army programs on news channels have fully clothed celebs / reporters? Unless the Indian Army uses this is a ploy to distract the army with such bombs so that they can bomb enemy targets?

 7.       Is it true that SRK at 47 out-danced all 20-something Brit dancers at an underground hip-hop gathering to win Katrina’s choreographic heart? Unless she prefers Indianized hip-hop like Indianized Chinese?

 8.       Is my observation wrong that most bombs were found on Ladakh bridges? But it must have helped your script in its bridge-building meeting between Anushka and SRK? And the mother of all Cam-bridge questions, SRK had the authority to allow Anushka Sharma suspend mid-air like a tandoori mutton and capture Live bomb-defusion act? From just 3 millimeters away?????

 9.        “3 kg of washing powder cyanide, 26 grams of nitroblahblahblooh acid, 2 buckets of phosphor-aamras” was all it took for the mentally retrograded SRK to impress the British police to allow him to disarm the bomb on a London metro? Well, smart way of making the London police look like a bunch of impressionable nincompoops no??

 10.   Poor SRK was lying like a “meera-culous vegetable” in a London hospital for weeks, and not even an Army Subehdar came to visit Major “The man who cannot die” Samar Anand, and check how long will his medical leave last? I mean, was SRK on Indian Army’s infinite paid leave?

 11.   Whose brainchild was this dialogue / scene “Meera, I am going to Kiss your awesome lips now. If you don’t slap me, I am yours… if you do, I never was”? OK I tweaked it, but seriously, is this new age professing of love?  

 12.   You have to, have to help me understand this – Anushka Sharma in a live press conference to unveil SRK’s documentary said the following?… “As we speak, Samar is defusing his 108^th Bomb… once the bomb is defused, he will stop defusing bombs… coz now he wants to live, he fears death. So no more exploding bombs, but only a London-born Bomb as his wife and Jager Bombs. He will only Love now”. ?????

 

And some minor questions out of the million others I have in my mind…

13.    I am sure you will never consider SRK as an ambassador for safe biking right? 2 accidents in 3 hours in a span of 10 years is kinda too much right?

 14.   So basically, unlike Deewar, SRK refused to patch up with Jesus at the end, right?

 15.   Should I recommend this movie to my Dad who, like every proud Punjabi, is waiting to show his personal commitment for Mr. Yash Chopra? 

 

Irrespective of the answers, we still love you for DDLJ and your great dad for all he has done for Indian cinema. RIP Mr. Yash Chopra!

My take: Student of The Year is a typical Gemini film

A Gemini can be summarized as Smart, Superficial, Fickle Minded, Sensitive, Impressive, Impressionable, Confused, Humorous, Witty, Charming, Attention deficient Butterfly.

Karan Johar (KJo)is a Gemini and he probably embodies each of these personality traits. His latest directorial venture ‘Student of the Year’ (SOTY) screams out these attributes like all previous KJo motion picture offerings. I therefore call it a typical Gemini film with a wee bit of authority as I have lived the life of one for 34 years.

The Plot:
A super rich, Porshe driving, Guitar playing, 6-packed son of a Dhawan is a popular brat of St. Teresa’s school/college/university (classification unknown).

He has a super adorable but emotional bimbette, who Bhatt obviously keeps dreaming of coochie-cooing with 6 packed Dhawan and Gucci-gooing with international brands.

Enter another good looking ambitious goon in the school of Dehradoon, who sweeps girls of their feet with his Punjabbi attitude and small town Malhotra charm.

So first these two hate each other trying to outdo the other’s popularity. Then thanks to a KJo moment, they turn best of friends. Bhatt yearns for kamasutric love, but Dhawan is not a one woman dove, and Malhotra wishes to ambitiously soar above. She then falls out with him, and falls in with the other him.

And their friendship begins to crumble, when gay Dean Kapoor starts to mumble ‘ The Student of the Year’ competition begins.

And then boy competes with girl, with Disco Deewane they twirl.

So the verdict:
Dhawan is the future Bollywood Czar, Malhotra reminded me of Bachchan from Deewar, Bhatt is the cutest little little star. Rishi Kapoor is so bloody wasted that its not funny. Other supporting cast is OK. Story narration is Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na style. The plot is fine, over the top situations and at times stereotypical KJo  humour is irritating. The music is not original at all, but amazingly foot tapping rehash of Bolly classics. Disco Deewana signature step is gonna rule the dance and wedding parties this season!

Overall, the film is exactly all things Gemini. The extremely smart packaging saves the day and will definitely connect with the Indian audiences at home and abroad. Forget the hollowness, this for-of-by Gemini film is all about celebrating that Gemini awesomeness!!!!!!!

 

image: bollywoodhungama.com

Coke Studio Pakistan: Social Media breaks musical barriers!

I cannot help but prefix a Disclaimer to all my blogs. In this case, I have to be more politically correct to preempt any physical or virtual attack from political parties. “I was born post the Partition era, so I do not have any personal experiences to share on the world’s greatest exodus ever know to man. I am not a music maestro or Guru. I do not judge any reality talent shows, despite my sensational bathroom singing skills. ”

Disclaimer said, I am told my handsome grand dad moved from Lahore to Kanpur around those volatile times. This “lineage” not withstanding, something I admittedly plug in conversations to evoke that “wow” feeling, I had little understanding of the Pakistani cultural scene. For me, Pakistan was synonymous with the legendary Umer Sharif – the wickedly funny protagonist of “cult” comedy stage dramas like Bakra Quiston Pe and Buddha Ghar Pe Hai .

And then came my Eureka! moment – Coke Studio Pakistan, an explosion of Pakistan’s supreme musical talent that seems to have taken the politics-agnostic-music-loving-Internet-Generation by melodious storm. I believe the television series is the brainchild of Rohail Hayat and is currently in its 5th season of live awesomeness. I was recently exposed to the soul-stirring sensation Alif Allah Chambey Di Booty at a friends’ reunion, and was ridiculously embarrassed by my ignorance (“You hadn’t heard this before? How ignorant can one be” 😦 ) . Coke Studio Pakistan had already captured the imagination of people across borders since its debut in 2008. My mission was staring me in the face – “Get the entire Coke Studio Collection asap you idiot”. And I did not disappoint my conscience.

200 musical interventions later (50 chartbusters graciously shared by my colleague multiplied by 4 times that I have heard them in a loop) I couldn’t resist but wear my Public Relations hat and do some quick analysis. There have been shows on Indian television that have attempted to showcase Pakistani talent, but Coke Studio has managed to elevate it to a new level. So why Coke Studio Pakistan? Who benefits? Does it change anything about Pakistan? Did social media contribute to this success? Some quick thoughts on the 3 core pillars of this “marketing success”…

Coca Cola: As I keep reiterating to my students, when in PR, keep thinking “Thought Leadership”. Through this initiative, Coca Cola has successfully managed to connect seamlessly with millions of Youth in Pakistan and Netizens around the world through a religion that has historically brought hearts and nations together – MUSIC. More importantly, it blends perfectly with Coke’s promise to “Open Happiness”.

Pakistan: Goes without saying that Coke Studio has provided an excellent platform to showcase Pakistani talent to the world. The country has suffered numerous reputation setbacks due to its long standing domestic turmoil and alleged links with certain terror groups and activities. Coke Studio could be one of the most powerful Public Relations tools in its arsenal that can help bring about a perception turnaround and present an entirely different aspect of Pakistan to the world.

Social Media: Once again, the cliched Social Media success story knows no “bounds”. Not to take away any credit for the gifted artists of Pakistan who have dished out one melodious rendition after another. But probably it wouldn’t have reached current levels of global superstardom without the inherent power of Social Media. With 10 million views on YouTube, 22 thousand followers on Twitter and over 1100 fans on Facebook, it is statistically proven too that the Coke Studio Pakistan TV series has made the world a much more harmonious place to live in… both for Pakistan and its extended neighbourhood !

“In a world of peace and love, music would be the universal language.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

 

Picture courtesy: hindishows.com

 

#MumbaiDiaries: My “Break Fast” this Eid @ Kala Ghoda Café

A healthful hunger for a great idea is the beauty and blessedness of life.                 ~ Jean Ingelow

The quintessential “snob value” that comes with being a townie (SoBo – South Bombayite) is not without justified measure. Blame it on the tranquil roads on weekend mornings, the colonial architecture symbolic of Mumbai’s DNA & cultural heritage, and among host of other envious characteristics, the appetizing range of breakfast joints. By Gorge !

So after trying my taste buds at Koolar’s couple of weeks back,  my next chosen destination was the Kala Ghoda Café.  The timing couldn’t have been any better. With the streets of Mumbai jostling with the Eid celebrations (the last leg of Ramadan), images of delicious food hypnotically overpower all minds. It was 8am and I was resolved to break my morning fast with English / Parsi food. And so I mounted my 2 legged Firefox and rode down the empty roads of South Mumbai (Byculla-JJ-VT-Fort), admiring my beloved city for the mysteries it holds in its underbelly.

the low profile setting of Kala Ghoda Cafe

I felt special (no clue why!) being the first customer to walk into the award winning café. The restaurant is discreetly located in the by-lanes of the historic Kala Khoda junction at Fort. (another landmark is the famous seafood joint – Trishna). The funky white coloured moulded plastic chairs caught my attention first. “Quite chic”, I smiled to myself. Personal memorabilia (photographs) and other paintings adorned the walls, and a long wooden bench completed the traditional-meets-modern look of the café. One doesn’t require special powers to deduce how the café promotes eco friendliness, as soon as you notice an adult sports bike (cycle) mounted on the upper deck of the café. Did I mention the café has a cozy upper deck with an aerial view (not that there is much to view aerially in a tiny food joint).

cozy interiors of Kala Ghoda Cafe

I am the type who gets lost when faced with too many options (ask my wifey!). So I was pleasantly surprised to spot limited items on the menu, a great morale boost for my (oft berated) decision making skills. I was quick to place my order:

Upper deck of the Kala Ghoda Cafe

“1 Akuri Parsi style spicy scrambled breakfast combo”, which included

• Portion of Scrambled eggs
• Small ABC (apple, beetroot, carrot) juice
• Organic green tea 

Akuri scrambled breakfast combo @ Kala Ghoda Cafe

And all this for 220 bucks (taxes includes). Not bad by any standard.

The Akuri scrambled eggs was true to its name – spicy, as it was laden with cut green chillies. My taste buds did not revolt, as the chillies blended perfectly with the  central promise of the dish. It was served with 2 slices of wholegrain organic bread – the best I’ve eaten in a long time. ABC juice was a good choice (the other being orange / mosambi) as it gave me the strength to ride back home (figuratively speaking ofcourse), and it was tasty too. I am a huge fan of aromatic green tea, but I had never tried it with grounded jaggery powder before. The taste still lingers in my mouth, if that says it all about how much I loved the refreshing cuppa of healthy tea. The café was kind to offer a complimentary potion of mashed potatoes, the versatile and evergreen gastronomic accompaniment.

organic green tea @ kala ghoda cafe with jaggery powder

I had broken my morning fast with Good food, and in a cozy ambience that suits my liking. And as I mounted my Firefox to head back home in a content state of mind, I asked myself “what’s a must try during my next visit to Kala Ghoda Café?” “Waffle with honey and melted butter it will be”, I smilingly resolved.

EID MUBARAK!

#MumbaiDiaries: Satiating our Irani appetite @ R. Koolar

(A nostalgic dedication to my childhood pal – Farhadu !)

A promise

Afternoon of Sunday, 5^th August 2012, my wife and I made a promise to Ali Koolar (with an uncanny resemblance to the late Raj Kapoor), that we will record our visit to his delightful Irani café on our blog. That’s the least we can do as communications professionals, is to lend a voice to one of the minority group of restaurants gasping for survival. Irani Cafes are dwindling at such an alarming rate that I worry this Wikipedia page may become the last surviving piece of Mumbai’s cultural & culinary history. According to Irani Chai (similar data on other blogs too), there are only a handful of Irani cafes surviving in Mumbai, 26 according to their estimates. A small disclaimer here, I am no historian or statistician, therefore some statements in this post may not have factual backing, per se. I am no food expert, so do pardon the technical finesse and jargons.

Koolar facade – in the heart of King’s Circle

The Irany of Life

Thanks to my childhood best friend, Farhad Patel, I had my first tryst with Parsi / Irani food nearly 2 decades ago. Despite such an old affair with Irani food, I realized my love and duty towards it only now. My recent discovery has been D. Merwan – another delectable symbol of Irani culture opposite Grant Road (their Mawa cakes are to die for). Uncontrollable craving for authentic Irani food led us to the online discovery of R. Koolar & Co. Established in 1932, this Irani café has all the right ingredients for a perfect weekend breakfast / lunch. The online reviews were palatable and our mouths couldn’t stop salivating at the delicious thought of fruit beer, cutlets, omlettes, kheema and black Irani chai. Disha’s (my wifey) eyes twinkled with greed when she read about Koolar’s special Irish Coffee served with Whiskey (hic!).

Koolar’s metro-cum-retro sexual interiors

The perfect Sunday Irani lunch

And so we hit the road on our loyal Honda Activa and were shortly standing infront of the quaint Koolar & Co. entrance. Located at the King’s Circle junction, the footpath surrounding the restaurant is unexpectedly tranquil on a Sunday despite being a stone throw’s away from the busy road. The perfect setting! We plonked ourselves down in the black wooden chairs (red & white checkered tablecloth covered with sheet of glass and black chairs are symbolic of Irani restaurants) and as well researched customers, wasted little time in placing the order to an inordinately sweet and helpful waiter.

• 1 cheese & chicken omlette
• 1 plate Mutton kheema
• 1 plate chicken kheema masala
• 2 plates of Pav
• 1 Irish coffee with Whiskey

And as hungry desperate foodies, we swooped down on all aromatic Irani delicacies. They appeared real fast (superb service, within a matter of 10 mins), and disappeared in our stomachs with equal swiftness.  The omlette (INR 80) was crunchy and made me reminiscent of my first chicken cutlet experience at Farhad’s house. I still cannot get over the mutton kheema (INR 110) as it was blended, with spices and a dash of sweetness, to perfection. Chicken kheema masala gave us little to complain about (though it was slightly more expensive than mutton at INR 160), and it definitely deserved a bronze (with mutton bagging the silver medal). It was then the turn of the Food-O-Olympic gold medalist – Irish coffee with Whiskey (INR 80). Hot brewing cup of tantalizingly intoxicating Irish beverage, topped with Amul cream (our guess J) and garnished with natural brown sugar.

Koolar’s Irish coffee with Whiskey

What a meal, and all this for less than INR 450. Not to mention, without any extra charge for the colourfully appeasing ambience with archived newspaper prints (Titanic tragedy reported in the New York Times), Hollywood posters, suspended middle-eastern lanterns and contemporary songs from Radio FM 94.3 filling the air. Ther perfect Sunday meal !!

Chat with Ali for Dessert

And then came the ultimate climax – our chat with the “dreaded” Ali. We had read several reviews criticizing the loud behaviour of Ali – the owner. I guess being a Punjabi (and a co-Aryan race as was told to me by Ali’s friend) I have kinda lived among loudness all my life, so get the need to scream even when a whisper could do the job. We got into an engaging conversation with him and I must say, he is a charming man with a rich family legacy. Madness fascinates me. And I had all the more reason to like him – he said I have Irani looks, my wife looks like a Filipino model and I am lucky to be with her. Slight mad man, but definitely not a bad man.

Disha in a delicious pose with Ali Koolar

Mr. Ali, I have kept my promise, now it’s your chance to keep yours – Koolar must survive for Mumbai’s sake.

#Tweeterobilia: Collection of tweets by @contactashoo – Part I

A walk down Twitter lane to relive some defining moments in socio-eco-politico-techno-entertaino-miscellaneo landscape!

Finally, there is evidence that Rajinikanth is the brightest star in the galaxy…SOLAR ECLIPSED !!! http://bit.ly/gcpHx7
1 Feb

Is Mahatma Gandhi the world’s most revered, influential and decisive political figure ever? only TIME can tell…http://bit.ly/eDE9Fs
7 Feb

Breaking news: Board of Complete Control over India (BCCI) changes India’s national song during world cup to “OneDay Materam ” !!!
23 Feb

Natural vs Manmade Tsunamis: Japan Radiation Leak- 10000 dead, $30bn lost..India RADIAtion leak- 1 dead, $42bn lost, 1 bn consumers screwed!
17 Mar

seems like BJP suffers from acute & recurring Urinary Bladder affliction…every time Wiki Leaks they get bloody excited…su su nami ??
18 Mar

masterstroke by Singh 2 call Gilani..Singh wins political upmanship…G says -“cudn’t hear peace proposal, 2 much noise in stadium”-3G scam?
28 Mar

Latest Indian Blockbuster – Hazare Khwaishein Aisi; *ing Fast Anna, Slow Congress, Wily BJP, Villainous Money, Prod & Dir by India’s youth!
7 Apr

from B.C. (before Christ), to A.D. (Anna Domini)… and now it’s A.D2.0 (Anna Darwinism 2.0) – the mega Indian Evolution. IndiaInspired!
9 Apr

statutory warning: Anna is Hazaredous to the health of Indian politicians. Carcinogenic diatribes can be fatal for corruption.
9 Apr

Comedy of tERRORS??? OSAMA dead. OBAMA lives (as US Prez for 2nd term). Bush faints as Obama takes credit. US on alert. India on red alert.
2 May

India 4th worst 4 women….what an irony in a country that is ruled by a woman…http://bit.ly/jRM8pH but hey, we R best in #corruption !
16 Jun

http://bit.ly/jckROi for all you #Amitabh Bachhan detractors (aka losers !) eat this….and hope #shithappens to you soon…love u #RajaSen
1 Jul

If #doping enhances performances, Govt. must legalize #doping for politicians & municipalities. #BrokenRoads #BrokenTrees #BrokenMorales
19 Jul

http://on.fb.me/pX9H58 The Rise of estroGENTs and the fall of de-men-tia ! A pointless blog in times of #SureshKalmadi #Dementia
27 Jul

None other than Bachhan saab had foretold the rise of a Jain in 1982. #AnshuJain is the new co-CEO of #DeutscheBank. http://ibnlive.in.com/news/anshu-jain-is-the-new-coceo-deutsche-bank/170778-61.html #sattepesatta #jainkulikimainkulikijain
28 Jul

theme of the next “Transgalactic Interfaith Gods, Lords & Deities Conclave” on Jupiter is “improving #KLOUT score” … btw, KLOUT founder uses Rajiniscore to evaluate its own clout !
July 28

Which is the world’s largest outsourcing company? GODS, LORDS, HOLY CREATURES & DIVINE SOLUTIONS PUBLIC LTD. It manages pain, fears, hopes, happiness, lives and deaths of over 6,775,235,700 living objects. No protectionism. No lobbying. No complaints. Good night !
Aug 5

#Asshishsm :wht should a pregnant woman do if her gynecologist is unable to deliver a baby? contact #DHL or #FedEx, they deliver anything
7 Aug

Asshishism: For a #CIO #CTO, Monks and Nuns are the most IT friendly recruits as they don’t believe in “attachments”! #emotionalbandwidth
9 Aug

blog- http://on.fb.me/q0k1Z4 Chronicle of PR Education Day @ Symbiosis Institute of Mass Communication… Thank you #SIMC_Pune @SIMC_Pune
9 Aug

#seafood gets new meaning. with 300 tns of spilled oil entering fishes’ gills, y not eat oil-marinated fish directly from sea. #sickening
9 Aug

overheard @ AGM of #PlanetEarth Inc., Co-founder & Chairman, MR. GOD said “Sorry my fellow shareholder deities & Lords. Chips are down. Earth is performing miserably with #London #riots #oilspill #AAA US downgrade US #corruption. Therefore lesser rainfall, crop, trees, happiness, etc. as penalties. for non performance.”
10 Aug

time to send #AamirKhan to #England …he can beat them single handed wearing a dhoti, teakwood pads and barefeet. #midastouch #Lagaan
13 Aug

#PR Education Day write up in #PuneTimes… #Symbiosis #SIMC … thanks Ashish Suri, Rachna Suri, Vidhi Shah yfrog.com/kgr7andj
22 Aug

India’s new lingo.. Annaconda: #anti-corruption python; Annalytics: study of #corruption; Annatomy: #fast proof human body; Annadomini: India post #Hazare; Annapurna: salt on Congress’ wounds!
Aug 23

just heard on TV… The trending theme this #Ganesh Chaturthi will be gANNApati- corruption free Gods or Gods of anti corruption
23 Aug

#Apple a day, keeps competition at bay. #apple also keeps the doctor away. alas! #SteveJobs cudnt. #what-a-man #bow bit.ly/q554yH
26 Aug

Brayking News: Divine Earplugs & Audio Firm (DEAF) signs Ganpati as brand ambassador for hearing aids. Happy Noiseless #GaneshChaturthi
1 Sep

ASShishism: a la corporates, wat if every kid in future is born with a human KRA & PDP sheet? #compulsory-performance-appraisal-with-God?
1 Sep

new-age Independence struggle.. nehru wrote on Queen’s wall- Quit India. 1 bn people like this. @Bapu retweeted this. British leave India
2 Sep

If rains r ny indication of future times, I suggest women start mating with fishes. #KidsWithGills #Fumans #UnderwaterSurvival #2012
4 Sep

#BraykingNews: Govt. blames HuJi for #DelhiEarthquake …attributes tremors to the crater caused by #DelhiBlasts. #MotherEarth pissed off
7 Sep

In mobile terms, Earth was on vibration mode for 10 seconds. Moral of story: never try to put #MotherEarth on silent mode #DelhiEarthquake
7 Sep

just heard India doesnt have a #terror law..v allow policing against public kissing bt not public bombing. time to sleep & forget the day
8 Sep

#BraykingNews: Facebook announces global tie up with Ambuja Cement… Now try deleting any “wall”.. #incredibleStrength #Asshishism
10 Sep

dear AlQaida, on anniversaries we cut cakes & blow candles, not cut humans & blow buildings. #9/11 #anniversary-celebration-tutorial?
11 Sep

“Peechha karne waale” “Peechha Karta hoon” “Dhoondke du kya” “SeedhePaigaam” “ChhoteChhoteKhayaal” #Twitter in Hindi https://twitter.com/?lang=hi
14 Sep

New Blog… #FY12Kickoff @ Text 100 – more than just a hash tag (#) http://wp.me/p14tQf-3H /via @wordpressdotcom
14 Sep

from tomorw, I will drink #Petrol and fill #Water in my car. #cheaperAlternative #car-consumes-more-liquid #3-rupee-Petrol-price-hike
14 Sep

Darkness for #Azharuddin, as his Son will not rise tmrw. #RIPAyazuddin #Tragic #DadsWorstDayEver
17 Sep

im amazed how every deo ad ends wit potential intercourse. & i thot only dogs smelt butts & pits 4 a soul ‘mate’. Judge rules ‘OdourOdour’
17 Sep

A Lecturer’s Diary – Nothing is imPRossible! my old blog wit random learnings abt dealing wit GenY PR professionals http://bit.ly/oxGPsY
18 Sep

some1 needs 2 show God his KRA & PDP doc. HE is shirking responsibility & seems to b in a hurry to end the world & relax. #SikkimQuake
18 Sep

it’s time to humanize sites like #Facebook further. emotions like “sad” “angry” must b added. imagine “XYZ is dead” & 5000 “Like” this
20 Sep

another jolt for Tiger population in India. RIP #TigerPataudi
22 Sep

#HomeMaker & #HomeMinister struggling to keep house in order due to inflation & corruption. Not easy running a house these days!
25 Sep

Blog: “Is #SocialMedia for my company? Few Myths Debunked in Plain English” http://wp.me/p14tQf-3M /via @wordpressdotcom #DigitalRising
26 Sep

what did Mamata #Didi tell Mr. #Ratan after the Singur High Court judgment? “TATA, Bye Bye”. #ASShishism
29 Sep

I am a staunch believer in non-violence except when in comes to #Stress ! It deserves no mercy. Must be beaten to death at all times!
1 Oct

always wondered as a kid.. “Y didn’t Govt at least consult moms b4 unanimously declaring #Gandhi as #FatherOfTheNation” #fbPoll ?
2 Oct

y SRK didnt release his movie this weekend? Coz tmrw is when #Ra.One died. He didnt want history to b repeated. #DusseraTrivia
5 Oct

why is #LordRam worshiped the most by HR managers? coz they regard Him as the world’s best “Head Hunter”. #HappyDusshera #RIPmrRa1
6 Oct

2 legends. opposing theories. Sir Newton gravitated towards fall of an Apple to earth. Steve Jobs made an Apple soar to the skies.
6 Oct

Gods in cost cutting mode. Outsource all divine work to Steve. Humanity up in arms against poaching. Demand their “jobs” be returned.
6 Oct

today is World Mental Health Day. Let’s observe 2mins of silence to mourn the irrepairable mantal the health of politicians.
10 Oct

God defi works w/ the best recruitment firm. Managed to poach 3 of mankind’s most illustrious gems #SteveJobs #Pataudi #JagjitSingh
10 Oct

BB outage unearthed. #Rajinikanth sent a message to US, so BB did a pipe block to let it thru. Fears amock as there was a delivery failure
10 Oct

duniyawalo, jab India kheloing in England v r LaGone but jab we playing in Bharat, v r Lagaan #yipee
14 Oct

ET: Chinese fallen in luv w/ #3idiots due 2 similar education woes. Bigger news is Indians fallin in luv w/ 547 idiots in parliament
15 Oct

advani abandons rath yatra, goes home as his foot is badly stuck in his mouth after #yedyurappa’s arrest warrant
15 Oct

after studying #Yeddyurappa & #AmarSingh’s cases, IMA decides to add a compulsory new course in med colleges #FakePoliticalSickness
19 Oct

deep down a part of me is definitely Chinese. No wonder at most times I feel Lone Lee
20 Oct

#iWonder will MRTP & Obscenity Acts b imposed on SRK for monopolizing media w/ obscenely overwhelming coverage
20 Oct

#ASShishism Iraq finally invokes the Illegal Immigrants Act, over 40000 American troops to b deported back to the US
21 Oct

smart move to get Pak a seat on UNSC, they know all terrorists & their hideouts. #terrorismDIElemma
21 Oct

only school equation humans remember is ‘multiply’. As world population crosses 7bn, my nomination for next PM is CEO of Kamasutra
26 Oct

Anna’s voicemail “Jai Hind! Anna’s phone. He cant talk bcoz he aint talking. If ur 4m Congress, pass Lokpal. If ur Dominos, sponsor me”
1 Nov

Indian Army’s new ad “Played w/ toy gun as kid? Can hit grenades for six in enemy camp? Apply now, v r giving away Lieutenant badges”
2 Nov

Tweeting out !

A Lecturer’s Diary – Nothing is imPRossible !

It would be unfair not to a recap a recent interview with an aspiring PR professional who believed he was born to make it big in this profession as he “was good at making friends” and “had a pleasing personality”. Read on…

Interviewer (earnestly trying to make the interviewee comfortable): So tell me, do you follow politics?
Interviewee (taking comfort to a new level): Oh yesss (with a thumbs up gesture, a nervous smile follows)
Interviewer (feeling sorry to pose such a ridiculously-easy-intellectually-insulting-question): So tell me who is the President of India?
Interviewee (swallows his saliva): (thinks hard and then blurts out) the guy with a blue turban right?
Interviewer (feels a gush of gas soaring up his chest and thinks to himself): “Need a cardiac check up…thnx Pranabda for rolling back tax on diagnostics”. You mean Dr. Manmohan Singh? Then who is the prime minister of India?
Interviewee (punches fist in the air signaling victory): Rahul Gandhi
Interviewer (switches to Kapalbhati mode, knows breathing is critical to survival ): And would you know the founder of Facebook by any chance?
Interviewee (pat came the reply ): Mark Zuckerberg

What’s the moral of this story – God exists? Kapalbhati is the ultimate de-stressing tool? For me, it’s a reality check that “times they definitely a changing” and PR professionals have to lead this change. I learnt this over a year back when I donned the role of a lecturer at mass-comm institutes and struggled initially to design sessions that appealed to the enthusiastic students. I am no expert on human psychology or emotions, and still consider myself an average student of this wonderful profession…. therefore do not intend to preach you on “how to deal with the aspiring PR professionals”. But, for whatever it’s worth, here are some learnings on dealing with next generation of PR professionals:

• Speak their language. Use examples and anecdotes that appeal to them (e.g. PR’s role in the iconic rise of Facebook – GenY’s most influential role model)
• Make learning fun. Reading seems last on their bucket list. Conduct interactive GK quizzes (Kaun Banega Consultant) and incentivize as much as possible (I give chocolates)
• Do not kill them with unending power point presentations, patience is not their virtue. Intersperse it with videos, humour and real life anecdotes.
• Do not judge a book by its clothes or chapters. Interviews are misleading. Change the format of questioning or assessment during interviews. They are usually lot smarter than what their written tests suggest.
• Give them the real picture. Freshers are an impressionable lot, but they will snap as easily. Drive home the prerequisites of making a successful professional and resist temptation to present an “inordinately rosy picture” about your company or the industry.
• Do not expect every joinee to be a Booker Prize-winner-in-the-making. Mastering the art of PR writing can take a while, though always encourage creativity. A long term solution is to work closely with mass-comm colleges to design appropriate modules in “writing skills”.

As you sow, so shall you reap. There are no bad students, only bad teachers !!!

~ Random imaginations by Ashish Arora, Sr. Consultant at Text 100 (India) and a not-so-popular faculty at leading mass communication institutes.